Gabriel

twopathsmeetingasone:

I think people in relationships forget this. We either want the other person to drop or change everything for them, or they are so willing to drop and change for you. I know most people would say that it is compromising and I understand that. But to me, it seems that people forget that they should live for themselves and not always for someone else. We have such a short life to live and you should make the most of it. You are your own person. You shouldn’t be someone’s only reason or they be your only reason to do or not do anything. Relationships should be about enhancing one another.

You can love someone and not forget who you are at the same time.

I have some thoughts:

I agree with where you’re coming from, but I don’t see life as short. Assuming we live to a ripe old age, there is plenty of time to do tons of stuff together with your lover/friends/family over the course of your life. Thinking life is short could cause exactly what you’re talking about to occur: We feel that we have to drop whatever it is we’re doing to be with the other person/friends, because time spent together is seen as so short.

To me, we have plenty of time at our disposal, its just how we’re forced to spend such a huge chunk of it working that sucks, and this takes away from time we could be using to enrich our lives and the lives of others. Sure we can’t do everything we’d ever want during the course of one life. There’s not enough time and the universe is way to big to go everywhere and do everything that I’d want to do. Earth itself can’t be fully explored by a single person in a single lifetime. Its just too big.

People these days are busy, but tend to forget that others are just as busy. I hate when people complain, “I texted/called you, why didn’t you respond?” Its like they can’t remember that other people are busy too. Sometimes I’m busy doing nothing at all, but still, its what I’m doing. Nowadays we can get in touch with people in so many ways, but it doesn’t mean we HAVE do so right away. “It doesn’t take anything to text me back.” someone might say, but I disagree, it takes time. And if I have 5 people trying to get in touch with me, that’s going to take a good bit of my precious time just to get back with them, not counting if they want an actual conversation.

Still, life is pretty long, on average, but we’re busier and busier, so our time together seems smaller and smaller. I’ve been going through this with Ry lately. We don’t spend enough time together for her, but for me our time between hanging out is fine. I see the big picture, where if we’re spending the rest of our lives together, we’ll have plenty of time to do all sorts of things. If we go a week without seeing each other right now, I miss her, but I’m okay with missing her.

To me, time apart is okay. It should be used to focus on our individual lives, so that we’re better equipped to start one together in the near future.

I don’t want to be in any relationship where I have to be with a person 100% of the time. I need me time. Even after I’m married and have kids, I’ll still need “me time”.

Now, I agree that technically 100 or so years isn’t long when compared to the millions of years that the Earth has been around, and the (hopefully) millions of years our species will continue, but its still plenty of time to build a positive foundation for meaningful relationships to grow.

I have lots of projects that I want to see come to fruition, these include writing, reading, and drawing. To do this I have to spend time on them, and that too takes away from time with loved ones. That doesn’t mean I don’t love them.

Loving someone shouldn’t make you 100 % dependent on them. There is no need to loose yourself that way in another person, its not healthy. I don’t want to loose myself in anyone else, and I don’t want to be the end all be all for another person.